With the usual frenzy from the ‘New Year, New You’ brigade it’s easy to begin the year feeling inadequate if you haven’t got a set of goals or resolutions at the ready. It’s really OK if you don’t though. Research shows that New Years Resolutions are almost impossible to keep and that changing behaviour requires knowledge of science of habits and self stories. While we are more likely to make goals and resolutions at this time of year on average only 10% of us will stick to them. The process, quite simply, doesn’t really work.
At this time of year, we are flooded with posts on social media from coaches and lifestyle gurus’s posting straplines which sometimes feel like they’re shouting at us; headlines such as ‘define your brand’, ‘choose the right attitude’, ‘put in 100%’, ‘let go of fear’ ‘work on your dreams everyday’ make me cringe. They absolutely work for some people, but they’re not necessary for everyone and can sometimes have the opposite effect – stress.
It’s simply not possible to put in 100% everyday or is it natural to ‘let go of fear’ because we need fear – it’s normal human response to danger; it’s how you approach it that will empower or debilitate you. I read a quote yesterday about ‘starving your distractions and feeding your focus’ but sometimes we need distractions to help our minds switch off; to daydream is often how our intuition creeps in. If we consistently operate at 100%, we will become ill. ‘Letting go’ is also an overused cliche. Psychological research shows that in order to let go, one must FEEL first and unless you are able to forget easily or don’t have anything to let go of, it is simply not possible to ‘let go’ unless you let in, then feel. If you are suffering with recurring emotions sometimes that’s a signal that they can no longer be ignored, and in some circumstances you may need professional support to work through them.
I am passionate about life-balance, gentleness, love and compassion when working on visions and life destinations. The New Year is an excellent time to reassess your current situation, values and your vision, because the collective energy supports this, but my point is that everyone is on a different journey and at different stages of that journey, what’s right for some, isn’t for others. I believe that if we can be compassionate with ourselves and gentle in our personal growth we will align ourselves with our true purpose which is more likely to help us manifest a life we want to lead.
If you are happy with where you are right now then great, but if the time isn’t right, for example you are going through change, are grieving, moving house etc, put this on hold. Trust your instinct and do what’s right for you.
If you would like to make changes in your life think about what you want and then be that person – you attract what you are, not what you want.